Years ago, I was hired as a tester on a large project. After a week or so, my manager came to my desk to hear how I was doing.
I wanted to explain her all the details about the tests I had carried out, what I had found, and my plans for what I should test next week, but she asked a question which totally surprised me:
“What is your gut feeling about this software?”
I realized that my mind was so filled with details that I had completely lost track of what I was up to and how my feelings were. Thankfully, her question brought me back to my senses, so to speak.
Stressful life with autism and ADHD
My two oldest and my youngest son have diagnosis in the autistic spectrum. The third of my four sons has ADHD.
Family life with neurological disorders can be stressful, and I have been living on the edge of stress and in periods even nearing depression for years.
Exercising is a daily practice to me to stay healthy. Coaching works too. I find, the most important thing is to remain true to my senses.
So I have learnt to listen to myself: My thoughts, ideas and what I say and do. I sometimes write it down in my diary and make mental notes.
And I ask the question: Why do I think like I do?
Acceptance and appreciation
It is not about analyzing myself, self-therapy or dissecting my mind, feelings or personality.
But the “why” is important: Asking myself, why I have certain attitudes and opinions directs attention towards what’s shaping me.
Fundamentally, I learn to accept and appreciate my thoughts, ideas, and actions, and thereby appreciate myself. It is, as Kierkegaard has reminded us, a daily activity. It is something that somehow has to be relearnt every day. I’m not starting over from scratch, but remaining true to my gut feelings is a daily choice.